Sunday, February 24, 2008
i am one of those who likes to keep things on my own.. cause i'm an extremely coward person. and when things get too much inside my mind, i will just collapse and act without proper thinking and follow the flow of feelings. therefore you will see me as an extreme wierd person if you dont understand my feelings. but its okay you can just ignore it. because i really dont want to say it out when i'm extremely hurt and weak unless i feel your concern. naturally im a very passive person. it takes my efford to think the world is beautiful. when ppl react to my actions during my so-extreme-weak period, i will feel like they are trying to bully me and make fun of me. every words that went through my ears will be interpreted as insult. i will fight back. and last time i didnt realise it hurts ppl who are feeling the same as me. therefore now im just so fearful to open my mouth again.. please.. just leave me alone for a while. my whole spirit is full of fear and guilt. you're tired to understand, and i'm tired to explain. just do what you think is natural. for those who are concerning bout me, i feel it and i really appreaciate it. you light up my life a bit. =]
Been loved @| 11:05 PM |
Friday, February 22, 2008
im ok. i just dont like ppl to see me when im weak. it has been mountains and mountains of emoness that i couldnt solve. will be fine soon. i afraid i will hurt ppl again. just give me some space.
Been loved @| 11:02 PM |
Monday, February 11, 2008
What Wong Chuan Ling means??
You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it. You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.
You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
==========
those i put the words in italic are what i feel SO DAMN FREAKING TRUE about myself. they brought benefits and also made me felt guilty sometimes.. and i think they will affect my future as well. and yeah i broke many hearts.. but not with charming obviously. its my mean and rude attitudes towards the people around me.
sometimes i just wish to let others know that im not angry or feeling ashamed of being so dumb at communicating. im in the process of learning. im trying to improve. im tired of being such a lan si person who has no friends at all. even though im really a lan si person. heh.
my dad used to said to me when i was presenting CTS song analysing presentation (100 years).. It's okay to fail now. i still have time, fail now is much better than fail later, when we have responsibilities and stuffs that are so serious we cannot make mistakes. some are just.... forever regrets. no way back. just like my cousins, who died during first semester. one got murdered and another one got killed in an accidents. sorry for being rude but i dont feel anything about the one who got murdered. i felt im such a cold blood, feelingless and sympathic-less person. like no heart at all. but i seriously dont respect him with what happened on him. he got murdered by dai-yi-long, because he gambled a lot and those 'enemies' found him and pek him. at first i felt so guilty of thinking so and i didnt know what to do. then i started feeling frusfrated bout myself and start hating myself of feeling so. it got worse when i knew my dad have heart problems and my family has serious financial crisis. i feel so emo about life and i start thinking about my purpose of life. fortunately i call out one of my friend that night, engfui, thank you. i tried to pray to come out from the overwhelming guilt on me.. and after studying psychology and my roler-coaster-like emotions calm down, i think that.. everyone has the responsibility to be a good person, the reason is for the ppl around you, family and friends, and also for yourself. being a person who live with other persons on earth, we shouldnt do things that will harm others or things that will lead us to negative paths.
anyway i still dont feel pity about the cousin. cause he never did what he should do as a human. got free books at library also never go and study. go gamble. i only feel a bit sad bout his life, cause he never realise how many good things he still can do besides gambling.
weeeeeeeeeee! feel so good to let everything out tonight.
communicating is a very useful and important knowledge in our lives. so dont think that expressing your true self is something disgusting, wierd or embarassing. some will be very happy if you open your true spirit to them. i am one of them.. i feel so excited when one is telling me his or her real feelings. so, to all of my friends.. come and talk to me! heh =p
to know what your name means go and get yours at here =] http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/
Been loved @| 10:32 PM |
♥ THAT GIRL/BOY!
H3LLO! green love ♥ blog owner age: 21 horoscope: cancer loves: sleeping, online, musics hates: noises
