Friday, January 30, 2009
glad to feel chinese's "riuh rendah" atmosphere again. it was great to see cute little faces who i do not know at all. they walk pass and talk. they never care about who you are. i feel a little bit embarrased as i have never ever been twenty. good start to face the world with maturity that i gain. regrets. beat your steps and work till sweats. staying cool and trying to be stable while meeting new people, having new conversations. they hated they stared, i wonder i change.
be calm and greet me with warm, cares and be the real you! marvelous twenty!!
Been loved @| 12:10 AM |
Sunday, January 25, 2009
the reason left for the pearl you dived for me
it speaks within itself without further intepretation. it needs patience to be transferred from beats to heart. i wonder when did i change. i wonder why the world stop rolling into bigger mess. i wonder he miss you more than i used to be. i wonder the genes of love comes more from you or them. flying colours with cold blooded; or blackn white with smokes. they grow, they spread, they dissapear. we met, we knew, we said good bye. nevertheless, the waves of ocean seems continuos still.
you're dissapearing from the blank space where it used to be silence and it appeared again within memories.
Been loved @| 1:46 AM |
Friday, January 23, 2009
for times, i skipped the class after rest during secondary school time. for times, i imagined i was the most special one in the castle of Cinderella. for times, i wanted to be in deep thoughts with assurances.
i catch some memories rather than lessons these few days. i find myself lost. lost in rather comfortable place. my mood swings. finally, with soul and body.
perhaps, it's just perhaps. with blessings and smartness, i see myself with recognitions. as times goes by...
Been loved @| 12:25 AM |
小青有忧郁症。别杀了她。因为她却了很多块肉。 （meet）why do we. 我不来自爱。那救送我 爱的纪念品 吧 为什么小帅没有 小青的痛呢 翻译交给九把刀
折翼窃 白勺 移茄 惠萍 福的 。
Been loved @| 9:45 PM |
Sunday, January 11, 2009
i always think that being with girls are the only place that will make me feel warm and comfort. i always dream to have a partner who cherish me and i would stay in his arm forever. as time goes by, it seems like it is still a dream for me. at the same time, some of my little dreams have come true. for example, i have been to Taiwan. the place that i am always hoping to walk around. another example, i had been jumping, laughing, singing loudly in mayday's concert. it was a little dream of an ugly little girl. i used to be rough and memalukan. i am still like that though. just that ages make me appear in more 'mature'. every morning when i wake up, the first thing i would think what is the main thing that i am going to do today. each day i live life with incomplete lessons, even though there are hard times. voices from people around me are the main keys that open my brain and shape my heart. i have never thought of having a partner with me to be forever. in real. which ever appeared in friends' eyes and mouths. perhaps, fate needed to be brought by wind, wiithout any shapes and principles.
some people believe others when they hurt. some people believe others when they share. some people believe others when they love. some people believe others when they learn. listens to the world, thinks and writes. here, i give each one of you an onion. =)
some people think the people who they cared will never know. yet, days after, DEY know. dey learn it hard! dey learn with their hearts, heartbeats, bloods, guts, their everything.. :'/
Been loved @| 8:41 PM |
Saturday, January 10, 2009
sometimes i wonder how would i be if i continue my life with that bunch of people. for twenty years i have been a girl to my family, a wierdo to my old friends (always), and the best listener/ companion to a certain people. it is true that everyone missed pieces of lifes, they join circles of friends to sew it back into a complete picture. however, it cannot be denied that i've missed certain parts that lead me to another path, where there is less footprints and more challenging. i can say that it is very high risk to be in danger, as no much same type of 'uncomplete' humanbeen will be there for guidance; nevertheless, there is too broad for me to hide. yet, i'm hiding it. for some people, i can feel that they are being selfish because they do not understand, they do not NEED to understand. they follow their wish without feelings but consideration. i got so hurt within.
it is not fair to be like that. why do some people have to suffer when the others are laughing with their heads off? why do the second after laugthers, the suffer is still there? why do they have to steal happiness from others while they are already hurt..
tough challenges awaits. i didn't know what do i have left out. i've missed many pieces of happy life that i am not belonged. i would love to take if you're willing to give. i would steal de happiness, without anyone's knowing, so that i'll not be punished anymore.
Been loved @| 11:38 PM |
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
with sinceres and curses i've become a humanbeen with real feelings. away with some of my close friends because i could not feel them as i have my own thoughts with strong but different principles. for a second we feel the same, but as a strong feeler like me, i have strong fear towards anything just as special as few of dem. as time goes by, i do not know how they are doing, how well or how worse. for a momment i have this kind of feeling, i wanted to end everything. including lives. somehow, i receive courage from different people. warm of cold. i receive 'them' all. i do not believe. =/ yet i have that bit of warm heartbeats that i could hold on with my breath.
please, write more about your stories, my friends. i would check once a blue moon if i could. =) or maybe i'll hear it, see it or realize it somewhere. continue your journey with your own way of love. curses and depression about helpless stuffs screwed up.. i am so fearful of that HATRED. my hands shakes and i could stand straight when i wonder. somebody out there think it's cool and i can see little bit of changes inside their blood. cold. drink some Starbucks to warm it back. =p
i believe that everyone is unique. please believe me, when you do not belongs to that attitude, change your path and try the better one for first move. =) or, just sing it loud as you're watching your favourite youtube music videos. hehe. stay healthy! =D
*****
Rise Against - Swing Life Away
Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up? Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck? Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
We live on front porches and swing life away, We get by just fine here on minimum wage If love is a labor I'll slave till the end, I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand
I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
I've got some friends, some that I hardly know But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go
We live on front porches and swing life away, We get by just fine here on minimum wage If love is a labor I'll slave till the end, I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
We live on front porches and swing life away, We get by just fine here on minimum wage If love is a labor I'll slave till the end, I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand
Been loved @| 11:59 PM |
Thursday, January 01, 2009
A love letter to myself.
Today is the first day of being twenty, as talking in a whole. i want to be more mature and get more knowledge of life. to be true, i have a bunch of friends who loves me yet i do not know how to respond to them. i believe in myself that my role is to collect memories among us and i live within the survival circles. i wish i can be very independent and mature in dealing with relationships. that is my wish, i would leave it for God. crystal-clear-tears and freshly-red-heartbeats i have came through with, i love that abstract imagination and i wish i could be in that black hole for sometime. learning to survive is a tough lesson, thus supports and forgiveness are needed to let me free from complaints and curses. do not have suprise that spiritual voices can cure one's pain, physically and spiritually. in my experience, i have met many special ones who have brilliant thoughts and tallents. i wish i could be as unique as one of them. stealing the way they act and speak is my evilness, because i envy them as they are better than me. please, forgive me for that. darkness occurs and fears appear like lightings in lonely nights. courage that gain from the strongers is my escape. appreaciation are nonsense, hugs and kisses are rubbish; heartbeats that meet at the right time is the best medicine. =/ i think there is someone out there who needs me as well. right? =)accept meeee larrrr.
being real with survival techniques is the best of mine if i could be better. singing songs and writing what-evers are my communication tools. when i am dry and tired i would love to be in my friends' arms. the future will be brighter, if i could walk to a better place and have that bit of luck. i am not doing my best currently because i have nothing in my hand. step on burnt stones if you want to feel what i am feeling now. i bet you'll cry. loosers..
currently action : throwing written stones on You! see what's on it..?
"I believe I can fly."
Been loved @| 3:38 PM |
♥ THAT GIRL/BOY!
H3LLO! green love ♥ blog owner age: 21 horoscope: cancer loves: sleeping, online, musics hates: noises
