Be My Escape :)

Planting seeds.

2010-12-24T18:41:00.002+08:00

I will work for whatever it takes from now on. Because I see myself in a crowd of seaweeds underwater. Dark, soft, weak, muddy, but, blue, emotional, mysery and adventurous.

I always wonder. I always hide once I have my dreams. I used to share. But no more, I am running out of money and stock. I start grabbing everything I want.

Don't come near me, don't believe me, don't ever try to hurt me by going against my principles.

Since I left him, I never thought of falling again. I saw it deep within me. Perhaps I never deserve it, I should not believe it from the beggining. There are too many cautions and nerves that will put love into stress, why not just stay friends forever? Love is connected to heart, it breaks me down when my heart is broken as I see your heart farly apart.

Always, love is short and never trustworthy. It is like a natural lies that is publically seen from everywhere.

Titanic crash

2010-06-19T22:10:00.002+08:00

i apologize i really didn't update with blogs and bloggers for a long time. due to busyness and disconnection problems.

so, i have come to 21 which brings a lot of memories since 18 and i am drowned into it. still, the pain which were caused by olden times makes me thought of the regrets first. regrets, like bleeding. even though it dried and cured, the bloody scar stay in the tears. maybe when the mirror cracks, i realize from dreams. "You have to view yourself in the way it used to be rather than what you think it would be better." You can be better, but what you remember reminds you of your first natural impression. that causes all the emotions. A-men.

Give up. or, please give up. =]
you have to trust the true hearts that come to you. because you gone through the unknowns.
regrets deserve no more sympathy. because God told you it is not anymore.

i believe slowly in me, that i am a sad spirit. ='(
i feel unsafe because i am sensitive. for fade, i have come to many groups and people. instead of pretending, i think protecting makes bonding. *wind~*

i do not know, how i become charming in boys. i am learning on boy girl friendship. pm, i hope you can lecture me for classes. i would pay for it. $$. *LOL*

Dry Heart

2010-04-18T02:18:00.002+08:00

After few years of taste of bitterness of lives, I wonder how suffer a person can be without the formal education with care in school. After years, I surrender. Luck is the medicine that soothes my pain. I wonder how many people is bleeding without my knowing.

I wonder how many people is having the same feeling as I have now. Desperate yet hopeless. Stupid but lucky. I just wish somebody would die for it. I would not want to bleed in love no more. Hopefully, my prayers will knock the door of the heaven. A-men.

One Day at Jalan BUs & Cova Square

2010-04-03T21:09:00.007+08:00

we stopped at khai's house after tons of assignments were given, everyone got panic ever again. brain hang and lag.

when we were all hungry, khai and ong suggested to go for lunch. Nobody was deciding where to eat, we ended up "walk half way, discuss half way" discussion. almost when we reached 1U, rachel voiced up and introduced us a good restaurant. then we drove all the way to Segi College, we parked our car in Cova Square and headed to the Art cafe. if you read the newspaper in march 01, 2010, you should see an artist who is talented in painting and cooking. that's his shop.

*Christian Lai*

i ordered Tom Yam Fried Rice.

passion fruit tea imported from London

after eating, it was almost half past three in the afternoon. we all went back to own destinations :] it was a cheering day. ^^

Cats

2010-03-24T02:08:00.014+08:00

Recently, my CT class lecturer asked the class to build a blog. So, I decided to update my entries with some interesting and informative entries.

Today I would like to do some research about the cats.

Cats are mammals which are adorable and friendly to humans. Besides, cats have excellent night vision and can function at only one-sixth the light level required for human vision. Cats have excellent hearing and can detect an extremely broad range of frequencies. They can hear higher-pitched sounds than either dogs or humans, detecting frequencies from 55 Hz up to 79 kHz, a range of 10.5 octaves.

Cat Eyes - They have good night vision. B)

Cats' Hearing - They can hear better than you!

For instance, they can hear you with Rabbit Ears :)

and... they can still hear you when they are wearing helmet.

Several features of cats' physiology are unusual and are probably due to their descent from desert-dwelling species. For instance, cats are able to tolerate quite high temperatures: humans generally start to feel uncomfortable when their skin temperature passes about 44.5 °C ; in contrast cats show no discomfort until their skin reaches around 52 °C , and can tolerate temperatures of up to 56 °C if they have access to water.

They live with us. They can share the lights with us. :D

Domestic cats use many vocalizations for communication, including purring, rilling, hissing, growling, snarling and several different forms of meowing. Nose-touching is also a common greeting and may be followed by social grooming, which is solicited by one of the cats raising and tilting its head.

When they...................... *laugh*

when they...........................*MEoW*

when they............................ *nose touching*

And, I've also added a video about playing with an adorable cat. ENJOY!

too old for dreams

2010-02-21T01:04:00.002+08:00

i still remember when i was young. i wanted to be a actress like that. i love dramas and sometimes i think those people in the tv taught us as much as the teachers at school did. they let me to have a chance to waste money onto as well. hee hee. bad enough to say that i am a very emo person who cannot control my own when i am in bad temper. spend. drive. destroy. i had bad habbits with bad temper. i hope i won't loose control one more time. i will never gone mad no more.

back to the topic. i still have the passion on celebrities. maybe i already rely too much on them. i sing their songs, i researched their way of lifes, i believe in their visions towards love. that's why the spirit is already there with me. and i shall bring it to death. i can get mad when somebody loose me. i won't be the person to be responsible, am i right? blaming on me is making me hating it more. however i think i will not say that anymore because i am part of the city and i am learning to be a helpful, patient citizen which bring profits to the city now. it's a goodbye to young life. say it, mean it to my "dream".

when it seems tougher..

2010-01-21T22:05:00.001+08:00

Big Bang's music video- Let Me Hear Your Voice

Amazing Christmas pt 2

2009-12-21T14:31:00.010+08:00

Besides celebrating Christmas with spending time going to places full of decorating and Xmas atmosphere, I had done my part as a hardworking lady.

I did my research on the books that i need for future. It was tough and it needs a lot of time. Luckily a sister of my friend was kind enough to borrow me the books. Without them, i couldn't settle down with my curiousity towards future of my twenty-year-old-lives.

~Collection of books~

==========================================================================================

Furthermore, I went to help my father with his job during holiday because i was bored reading at home.

==============================================================================================

Going shopping with best old friend are also one of the pleasure of life during holiday. Serious. :')

====================================================================================================

I spent my time with delicious korean seaweeds & alcoholic items after my sister came back from a Korea trip. She said there were streets of handsome tall guys there. wooohooo

such a large piece of seaweed, i can finish all by my own!!! YUMMM~~~ @_@

Amazing Christmas ^_^

2009-12-21T13:36:00.010+08:00

Christmas already around the corner, where you can feel the atmosphere everywhere especially in shopping malls. The malls are decorated nicely with winter atmosphere and many people are crazy craving for beautiful clothes during this special seasons. Even cake shops are already served the citizens with creative Xmas cakes. There are also year end sales promoting things that suits the new year which is near to the Christmas.

I get a chance to see the enormous change in the building of shopping malls when my cousin brought her kid to come to visit.

Fun Fair @ Sunway Pyramid

Restaurant

Mid Valley

shed me with colourful disco lights

2009-12-10T23:39:00.002+08:00

try your best even you fall sick. sleep well if you are really tired. take out your money and put inside again. wear the best way and walk like wind. stare at the scenes that you never realise. look at the camera, you are just---idiot, with the eyes meeting the same soul. appreaciate and strive for more. hopefully will get better, get better and get better. wave at 2009, it is going to be a blast in these few weeks. Good bye twenty.

memory burned. light will guide you home.

Winter white

2009-12-07T00:01:00.003+08:00

jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle all the way~ Sometimes we are so in touch with those winter atmosphere which is full of fancies and imaginations. nevertheless winter white is one of the girls favorite no matter what they do, in clothes, wearing white colour shirts with cute but small cartoons on it, or eating, like vanilla creamy stuffs or ice creams. oo, i love that! hahaha. even the face cleanse are white too! boo i'm talking nonsense. haha.

white represents pure and clean where it purifies our emotions and sadness. it is like snow flake, will melt when you touch it.

suddenly i miss my friends at overseas so much. hope they are all doing fine and healthy always. i caught a bad cold but i wish everyone will not get affected. enjoy the winter-alike December 2009. the last month of the only twenty in my life.

great that fate leads me to you or you to me. God bless.

white flag by *TearsOnthePiano

Enjoy the little bit of succeed

2009-12-01T22:33:00.007+08:00

I feel relief after getting know many kinds of people. And i still can keep in good health and being tolerate with my own style of life. I feel good about it. After few months of part time job, at the end i collect some money and i think saving money is a very good moral value which many many people should aware of. Besides that, i had found some friends, new or those who lost contact, who can truly put my trust on. Shouldn't say that others are not good enough, but i just feel so. Had conflicts within self before, never ever again. On top of that, i hope i can meet some friends nowhere but in the heart because as the wave of life is getting wider, i feel that our relation become further. So, keep in touch and pray. Peace. ^^

CHOOI YOUR BLOG DAMN NICE ARHH!!
check out here
chooeee.com

lego phone

What do you do when the world turn you upside down

2009-11-24T21:43:00.003+08:00

Sometimes the uncertainties of life will lead to one's commit suicide or brain killing. I wonder if there are ways to stop spending while one is feeling depress and hopeless. What will be your prime choice to bring into your coffin?

Taking actions while met up with obstacles is the way to cope with problems. However, time is bringing up more and more troubles that one feel stress up about the uncertainties. Sometimes i wonder if there could be a super hero to bring a solution to throw all the troubles as far as he can. I always think before i act and i have plans that i wish to succeed. I was disappointing that my plans doesn't work much that my money all gone inside the black hole. While i am mentally ill i sleep. As i am physically recovered i feel great to be healthy and wealthy enough to live. I believe that having money is the most important thing to continue on life of whoever u are.

If there are chances to make a wish that will come true, I hope i can be a billionaire. I want to get one body guard so nobody can harm me anymore. In other way to say instead of being money minded, I hope i will never get bullied again. Never again.

love

2009-11-20T22:01:00.000+08:00

the video that makes the day

Words That Speak, Stories That Touch

2009-11-15T16:02:00.003+08:00

What is love?
You're like the North Pole of a magnet bar, and he is also like the North Pole of a magnet bar.
There's no way for both of you to be closer together.
There's a force that'll always push you both apart. This force is called the obstacle, like interest differences, communications problems and etc.
However, if you put a metal bar in between, both your magnets will stick to it.
And, you'll be close to each other.
That metal bar dissolves the force that pushes both of you away.
That metal bar is what we called ... Love.

http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyouvt.htm

2009-11-14T19:56:00.001+08:00

是有过几个不错对象
说起来并不寂寞孤单
可能我浪荡让人家不安
才会结果都阵亡
我没有什麼阴影魔障
你千万不要放在心上
我又不脆弱何况那算什麼伤
反正爱情不就都这样
我没有说谎我何必说谎
你懂我的我对你从来就不会假装
我哪有说谎请别以为你有多难忘
笑是真的不是我逞强
我好久没来这间餐厅
没想到已经换了装潢
角落那窗口闻得到玫瑰花香
被你一说是有些印象
我没有说谎我何必说谎
你知道的我缺点之一就是很健忘
我哪有说谎是很感谢今晚的相伴
但我竟然有些不习惯
我没有说谎我何必说谎
爱一个人没爱到难道就会怎麼样
别说我说谎人生已经如此地艰难
有些事情就不要拆穿
我没有说谎是爱情说谎
它带你来骗我说渴望的有可能有希望
我没有说谎祝你做个幸福的新娘
我的心事请你就遗忘

sounds like life.

2009-11-14T18:13:00.010+08:00

This post is the luckiest of posts i never felt before. Days and years I've went through, true or fake feelings I've met. Not everyone can meet the truths at the right time thus comes troubles and causing dilemmas. I love the life within me and out there because I am at the right way, for now. Just right. Just correct. Maybe there is still some fear that will blow me off and back to that dark shell anymore, beating myself and killing others' patience again. But I just don't care.

Introducing my big troubles in life.

Yap Tzyy Jian (my cousin)- The big bully who should go to hell. *Dammit he would answer.* LOL.

Lego Li - A very handsome boy. He looks like a stranger friend of mine, from a small town during my primary school time. Somehow i remember him because i always had lunch with sister in his auntie's house. He is a very naughty kid. But many people loves him. He just looks like him. :)

KokYaw - Finally I found him after so many years. Wong Kok Yaw. He is a very kind and good friend whom i used to put my trust on him. I just miss him a lot. Well, I hope he had done his very best and he always be. Hope that everything will be a piece of cake for him and he can pass with flying colours. Neverending appreciations and blessings. Good luck. :')

a video that i've made

2009-10-22T21:12:00.001+08:00

thats what i turn out to be a real person

2009-04-15T20:46:00.004+08:00

oh fuck. i wonder why we have so many dramas and dreams. why do we need those unreal that doesn't suit our world. sometimes i feel lost, maybe they could let me to have an escape. however, to be true, i feel very uncomfortable with it now. and oh shit i've been living in a dreamy shell for such long time. DRAG ME OUT FROM THE HELL.

by the way, tomorrow will be py's birthday celebration. i'm looking forward to it.

life is like an art. to be true or not, we create our own pieces of memories. go further, try the risks, challenge own limits and throw!!

DJ station, Lot 10.

Friend Poem for today

2009-04-14T22:19:00.002+08:00

Suddenly all the stress fit into a box and i feel myself can handle the box and play music with the relation of friends currently. Recently, i have slept a lot but it doesn't make me feel dying or negative. For years i have been looking for better reason to have a life like this. It has been a torture to gain lessons within few years whereas others build it during secondary school time. At least i see changes now. I will never forget the phobias and traumas that darken my spirit. Even if it dirties my friends. I am learning to create positive relation that join the brokens.

I am not alone. Can you hear me? :)

*****

For My Best Friend
Anon

This is for you, my best friend,
the one person i can tell my soul too
Who can relate to me like no other
Who I can laugh with to no extents, Who I can cry too when times are tough, Who can help me with the problems of my life.

Never have you turned your back on me
Or told me I wasnt good enough
Or let me down

I don't think you know what that means to me
You have went through so much pain and you still have time For me.
And I love you for listening even when inside YOU are dying
And I look up too you because you are strong, and caring and beautiful.
Even though you don't think you are.

And I hope you know that I am always here
To listen to you laugh and cry and help
In all the ways that i can
And I will try to be at least half the friend you are To me.
I hope you know I would not be the person I am today, with out you.
My best friend.

i need a break

2009-04-13T17:04:00.010+08:00

just finished my concept book of Mamak for project.
time to have some icy relax.

Baskin Robins' Mango Lime Blast!!

**

anyway there are some really nice photo shots that taken while we go yum cha together. either celebration or drink tea.

let me show you.

the picture of World Food Day!!

***

A short message to pM,

We're waiting for your return. Our friend circle got bit messed up ah!! I'm a bit out of balance... Faster come back to repair the joints please. :P

myself

2009-04-10T23:49:00.004+08:00

你是一个脆弱，敏感，却有着明锐的知觉的人。
你的犹豫使你跟年龄比你小的人相处愉快。
害怕有问题的人，对恐惧有相斥反应。
总是不畏惧敞开心胸做自己。

new hair style

2009-04-10T22:12:00.003+08:00

i just went to cut my hair. this is my new hair look. :)

dilemmas

2009-04-08T06:08:00.002+08:00

wonderful friends are just too hard to find. sometimes i wish all the nightmares gone without waking the truthful means of reality that they need to face. everyone has their own secrets and spiritually unbalance. therefore, what i can say is just wait. :)

because of my immaturity during childhood, i've broken many possibles that used to be unknown. maybe the unknowns possibilities shouldn't have my existences, but the results is, it happened with me in that situation and what i can say is regrets. however, at least i learn to backup for further challenges. this is one of my pride.

my friends and i went through a lot of obstacles. i used to be a proud leader, but i choose to be a follower as time goes by. perhaps i still have to improve my communication skills. :P

alright, spread some good news. i am currently learning piano and i went to shi yunn's birthday. haha. it was great!!

they failed my trust ever again

2009-04-03T21:44:00.008+08:00

i wonder if there's a poison that can cure everything alright. so you really think i'm that amazing? so you wish you'll get my blessing with fully covered with love?
the reason why i never have faith is they do not tolerant my anger.
i hate and i had this anger since primary. i know. i dont belong to them.
maybe i was born to let people know how normal they are, and i keep all their evilness.
how i wish God can turn the clock backwards, and show them what did they do on me. what do they think at the moment when they did it. show them all!
so you think you kiss me for fun? so you think you lick me for testing? so you think you touch me for exchanging password? do you know how i was brought to the hell and my sadness was dragged till the limit. that i need to show my anger on everyone's eyes.

have you ever thought of the result of my identity.. how would i fail to be normal. you dont pay!

oh how i wish i could slap on their face to tell them how sad i am.
i got bullied!! why they never know.
i hate it. why do you force me to do something i never ever wish the results.
one day, they will learn their lessons.

p/s: thank you for those who always be there for me. sorry to those who got frightened, my hatred was dragged till the limit. please accept me for who i am every morning, when i am awake. :')

oh no... i am anti sexual abuse. and i hate sexual harrasment. please stop them. warning : don't kiss or lick or push them to do so to children without mature thinking. PLEASE. they will have trauma when they're adult.

hatred

2009-03-28T23:14:00.008+08:00

i was loved when they hate.

evilly borned in June. i start remembering small little things when unfortunates happened. i was brought up in sorrow of love. unwilling to let me know the truths, making me immature in handling everything in life. though i'm learning to cope with it. but my heart is blended with hatred. their sorrows turned to regrets. i do not understand my situation.

continuos failures in holding on the breath to lit up the fire had turned me become lower. i felt stress and depress. i am fearful to speak up because i got fucked. *oh so fucked up* i believe in fate and i'm still working on it. by now and then i cherish every situation that had been carried out and i have went through. even though there are many obstacles in my life, i will travel with passion. passion of myself but hatred on others. that's what i'm feeling it now. perhaps ego and selfishness drives me crazy, but you never loose hope on me.

life become black and white if you're working on alone. even if it's hatred i would share mine with you and compare together. the person with most anger shouldn't shed more tears, because tears from sadness burn every single happiness that used to be perfect. i can't explain further if i don't play, i hate lies because i am afraid of tricks. fearing to go on further. shed me some lights.

recent listening to koda kumi's show girl.
koda kumi featuring fergie that ain't cool.

the anger occured

2009-03-24T00:11:00.003+08:00

sometimes, you just got to be fucked. even you're in deep shit in front of everybody else, you have to do something or else everything goes into worse. worse things are, the emotions didn't get you to say it out or say it right. probably people might take it as problem, or even critizes you till you get hurt. it would only get better after long while. sometimes, i just couldn't get it as joke, very very seldom. many cases were happened no matter big or small, but the problem relates each other. somehow, i hate that kind of relations. why cant we just laugh and forget? why do we have to take something as "fun"? do we really need that ego. miscommunication leads to hurt, stress or even suicide. i was always here being a lame person. that's what i react to this world and i use the lessons i've gained. however, i really cannot stand people bullying me. i do not know why. even though i was crowded with warm and caring friends who i didn't even know deeply, but i would never ever forgive those people who used to bully me because of their selfishness and sexual needs.

happy birthday

2009-03-05T02:25:00.006+08:00

yesterday was mK's birthday. happy birthday. i miss the days when we were traveling together in standart six. i miss the days when we stared at each other with fierce and questions. thank God we meet each other and bought the memories together. a big smile to everyone who makes a lot of effort in order to keep in touch with each other. hee hee. :)

I wish our friendships never last.

A card that i've made in class. :)

Too afraid to be lonely

2009-02-23T01:25:00.004+08:00

i laughed. how funny when i see myself trembling when i see something similar to sweet, just as what i saw when i was small. the eyes of the people are the same, but the height of views changes. slowly and slowly i feel wierd about this world. people become weaker and weaker. worse things are people gain friend circles, while they're enjoying in loneliness at the hearts. showing attitudes like how they learned, since that time they had the knowledge.

i went through some pieces of memories. they joint, but incomplete. i felt ashamed. suddenly i feel like the world is really cruel and full of unknowns. just like some unknown dark secrets.

the shadows of the past. the reality that changes. how i wish i am on the road without harms.

p/s: just a cold shower helps. we aren't that HOT we know.

Reds

2009-02-14T21:10:00.005+08:00

im gonna sing, im gonna laugh, im gonna tear.
which one is better i would find the answers.
if its not about love, it could be everything
that 'is meant to be'.

a guitar without strings is not completed
a T shirt without designs doesn't contain messages
an angry face can be drawn out without the feeling
risky tasks or challenging backgrounds
because all this while
we become more mature in loving others and the future.

if i don't get it

2009-02-10T02:42:00.005+08:00

how if i dont understand the meaning.
how if i regrets and want to repair.
how if i enter another path without escape.

the music of love will not stop forever.
and so do the spirit of having it.
it's not my fault. it's just... regrets.
hahaha.

listening to : 第二顺位 - 羅志祥

the day

2009-02-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

it's a wonderful world.

just like smoke

2009-02-06T16:14:00.003+08:00

a touching music video by mayday.
dedicated to all my friends. :)
message: i wish i could share every upbeat moments with you, and i hope i wont dissapear within your memories if i couldnt.

Too Sensitive

2009-02-05T21:57:00.003+08:00

i must be too sensitive recently.

celebrated huipeng's birthday with a bunch of people in a box. we sang songs together. i haven't been in that mood for quite some time. when everyone talked till their last drop of saliva, that's when they breath their very own mood, with their very own energy.

i really enjoy those sentimental moments. even though i had been left out for sometime, even though i had never been better than them, even though they look for cares yet i sometimes reluctant to spare out. however, it's never been too late to share and receive their cares.

anyhow, i still prefer to be in within sensitive ones. haha. maybe i've been a little bit abstract today. just, i feel the phrase "once in a blue moon" deeply. because i was born like that, and i live like that.

happy new year

2009-01-30T00:10:00.002+08:00

glad to feel chinese's "riuh rendah" atmosphere again.
it was great to see cute little faces who i do not know at all.
they walk pass and talk. they never care about who you are.
i feel a little bit embarrased as i have never ever been twenty.
good start to face the world with maturity that i gain.
regrets. beat your steps and work till sweats.
staying cool and trying to be stable while meeting new people, having new conversations.
they hated they stared, i wonder i change.

be calm and greet me with warm, cares and be the real you!
marvelous twenty!!

too real to imagine

2009-01-25T01:46:00.002+08:00

the reason left for the pearl you dived for me

it speaks within itself without further intepretation.
it needs patience to be transferred from beats to heart.
i wonder when did i change.
i wonder why the world stop rolling into bigger mess.
i wonder he miss you more than i used to be.
i wonder the genes of love comes more from you or them.
flying colours with cold blooded; or blackn white with smokes.
they grow, they spread, they dissapear.
we met, we knew, we said good bye.
nevertheless, the waves of ocean seems continuos still.

you're dissapearing from the blank space where it used to be silence
and it appeared again within memories.

playing truant

2009-01-23T00:25:00.002+08:00

for times, i skipped the class after rest during secondary school time.
for times, i imagined i was the most special one in the castle of Cinderella.
for times, i wanted to be in deep thoughts with assurances.

i catch some memories rather than lessons these few days.
i find myself lost. lost in rather comfortable place.
my mood swings. finally, with soul and body.

perhaps, it's just perhaps.
with blessings and smartness, i see myself with recognitions.
as times goes by...

请听我说

2009-01-18T21:45:00.011+08:00

有一个女生叫小青。她可爱精灵，喜欢说话。她拥有聪明的哥哥小帅，并来自美满的家庭。原以为她是爱的结晶品，但，事实难预料。不料，爸爸的二弟得到癌症去世了。于是爸爸经常奔波，精神上开始不支。他们一家三口搬到金马仑。

一家人到金马仑，妈妈的哥哥的住处。就在小青6岁那年，爸妈带小青和小帅去拜访舅舅。爸爸很难过，觉得很懦弱。够了。妈妈帮忙爸爸。帮倒忙。爸妈你一句我一句的述说，怕年幼的小青和小帅留下童年阴影。他们以自嘲的方式来说。小青发现了若有悲伤的气息；小帅因自私和不解，问妈妈发生了什么事。妈妈没说话。安静。舅舅的儿子出来看个究竟。小帅更有把握的问发生了什么事。只见妈妈嘀咕，叫儿子带小青去房间睡觉。妈妈说：抱抱她。一副什么都行的样子，但由于担心小青出事，于是妈妈立刻拉拉裤子，没说什么。儿子跟小青在房间睡觉，并接吻了。隔墙有耳，大儿子出现，看到不妙，叫小帅从窗口望进来，问要不要阻止。小帅说：妈妈说不要理他们，不要吵到他们。大儿子错愕。我称之为诅咒。

经过那件事，爸爸觉得懦弱是行不通的。知道了。于是选择逃避。事实是他们搬到宜立。
小学二年级，放学后，小青和小帅到保姆家。一天，小小天秤，41，来玩，看到小帅若有所思，小青发呆。于是开始说话，开玩笑开的越来越大。开始了。小帅问小青，为什么你不理他？小青。怪。为什么你不追他？小青跟41傻。小帅邪笑。于是，小青想到劲爆的。带41进房间。教他接吻。我称之为无烟。

爸爸心疼。再次搬家。在家乡怡保，baba很小心翼翼的守护小青，甚至恨小帅。小帅是男生，他不懂。小青遇到了王子。王子跟小青说话。爸爸的小弟，有，放话说要好好看着这朵“花”。王子跟小青同姓，所以感觉亲切。王子写情书/信给她。她乐了。爸爸欣慰。

于是，爸爸再搬家。个人认为小青不值得那份情。因为她肮脏。在KL,小青5年级。

小青走运。她走光了。她班上刚好有一个姓叶的男生，因为新盧/蘆老师的美貌，而任意听从了老师指导。小青是猪头。她觉得尿急，于是用手把操裤“调整”。（看起来像挖自己）“叶子男孩”弯下身体头看，还嘲笑小青在自慰。我觉得真是太过分了。老师叫他做什么他就坐，还敢偷看女生内裤，想必是吃了豹子胆！“叶子男生”害到新老师“辞职”。忘了是真的还是假的。总之过了3天就没再看到她了。只是觉得小青很可怜。无知的被操控。小青没有怪任何人。她只记得老师临走前留下了讯息，老师临走前对“淫贱叶子男生”耍性感，让全班“鸦雀无声”。真的很难说明白。如果小青6岁没有发生过事情，她不会走。依稀记得“他妈的淫贱叶子男孩子”还在下课的时候给巡查员放话。同学叫小青下楼去。“淫贱叶子男孩子”看到小青的时候，还“豹子胆”的说喊：CID。操！到底是谁的错啊！女孩子就应该忍气吞声？！够了！！

我称之为干她妈的，臭老师，“我保护不到你”。

我只能说，这些最重要的笑史，交给另一个 LOO 老师吧。---〉飞机场的对白。

还好，小青6年级的时候有一个gang。随后，恶运开始平淡。肮脏的人啊，别再屌小青了。请你们自己净化吧！
小青被佩恩救了。但是佩恩肮脏了。小青希望佩恩好自为之。因为小青有爸爸。心疼。
howmunkuan是小青的坠星。当小青情绪低落到无法自己，hmk的话是圣经。
有一个可爱的小女孩。小青高攀不起。但是，有时候很想：全部都给她吧。因为她是gang的一员。
还有还有，还有很多干净的妖精，都是小青的缺陷。缺陷美啊。我方大同你。
6年级小青也变成了五月天的歌迷。

现在，小青在尝试新事物。因为她有了“自己”的信心。

所有的所有。我称之为请收看后。青春的诗。

小青有忧郁症。别杀了她。因为她却了很多块肉。
（meet）why do we.
我不来自爱。那救送我爱的纪念品吧
为什么小帅没有小青的痛呢
翻译交给九把刀

折翼窃白勺移茄惠萍福的。

pigeon

2009-01-11T20:41:00.007+08:00

i always think that being with girls are the only place that will make me feel warm and comfort. i always dream to have a partner who cherish me and i would stay in his arm forever. as time goes by, it seems like it is still a dream for me. at the same time, some of my little dreams have come true. for example, i have been to Taiwan. the place that i am always hoping to walk around. another example, i had been jumping, laughing, singing loudly in mayday's concert. it was a little dream of an ugly little girl. i used to be rough and memalukan. i am still like that though. just that ages make me appear in more 'mature'. every morning when i wake up, the first thing i would think what is the main thing that i am going to do today. each day i live life with incomplete lessons, even though there are hard times. voices from people around me are the main keys that open my brain and shape my heart. i have never thought of having a partner with me to be forever. in real. which ever appeared in friends' eyes and mouths. perhaps, fate needed to be brought by wind, wiithout any shapes and principles.

some people believe others when they hurt. some people believe others when they share. some people believe others when they love. some people believe others when they learn. listens to the world, thinks and writes. here, i give each one of you an onion. =)

some people think the people who they cared will never know. yet, days after, DEY know. dey learn it hard! dey learn with their hearts, heartbeats, bloods, guts, their everything.. :'/

created & creations.

2009-01-10T23:38:00.004+08:00

sometimes i wonder how would i be if i continue my life with that bunch of people. for twenty years i have been a girl to my family, a wierdo to my old friends (always), and the best listener/ companion to a certain people. it is true that everyone missed pieces of lifes, they join circles of friends to sew it back into a complete picture. however, it cannot be denied that i've missed certain parts that lead me to another path, where there is less footprints and more challenging. i can say that it is very high risk to be in danger, as no much same type of 'uncomplete' humanbeen will be there for guidance; nevertheless, there is too broad for me to hide. yet, i'm hiding it. for some people, i can feel that they are being selfish because they do not understand, they do not NEED to understand. they follow their wish without feelings but consideration. i got so hurt within.

it is not fair to be like that. why do some people have to suffer when the others are laughing with their heads off? why do the second after laugthers, the suffer is still there? why do they have to steal happiness from others while they are already hurt..

tough challenges awaits. i didn't know what do i have left out. i've missed many pieces of happy life that i am not belonged. i would love to take if you're willing to give. i would steal de happiness, without anyone's knowing, so that i'll not be punished anymore.

i live in choices. take me away..

2009-01-07T23:59:00.003+08:00

with sinceres and curses i've become a humanbeen with real feelings. away with some of my close friends because i could not feel them as i have my own thoughts with strong but different principles. for a second we feel the same, but as a strong feeler like me, i have strong fear towards anything just as special as few of dem. as time goes by, i do not know how they are doing, how well or how worse. for a momment i have this kind of feeling, i wanted to end everything. including lives. somehow, i receive courage from different people. warm of cold. i receive 'them' all. i do not believe. =/ yet i have that bit of warm heartbeats that i could hold on with my breath.

please, write more about your stories, my friends. i would check once a blue moon if i could. =) or maybe i'll hear it, see it or realize it somewhere. continue your journey with your own way of love. curses and depression about helpless stuffs screwed up.. i am so fearful of that HATRED. my hands shakes and i could stand straight when i wonder. somebody out there think it's cool and i can see little bit of changes inside their blood. cold. drink some Starbucks to warm it back. =p

i believe that everyone is unique. please believe me, when you do not belongs to that attitude, change your path and try the better one for first move. =) or, just sing it loud as you're watching your favourite youtube music videos. hehe. stay healthy! =D

*****

Rise Against - Swing Life Away

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Grateful to stay real in my way.

2009-01-01T15:38:00.002+08:00

A love letter to myself.

Today is the first day of being twenty, as talking in a whole. i want to be more mature and get more knowledge of life. to be true, i have a bunch of friends who loves me yet i do not know how to respond to them. i believe in myself that my role is to collect memories among us and i live within the survival circles. i wish i can be very independent and mature in dealing with relationships. that is my wish, i would leave it for God. crystal-clear-tears and freshly-red-heartbeats i have came through with, i love that abstract imagination and i wish i could be in that black hole for sometime. learning to survive is a tough lesson, thus supports and forgiveness are needed to let me free from complaints and curses. do not have suprise that spiritual voices can cure one's pain, physically and spiritually. in my experience, i have met many special ones who have brilliant thoughts and tallents. i wish i could be as unique as one of them. stealing the way they act and speak is my evilness, because i envy them as they are better than me. please, forgive me for that. darkness occurs and fears appear like lightings in lonely nights. courage that gain from the strongers is my escape. appreaciation are nonsense, hugs and kisses are rubbish; heartbeats that meet at the right time is the best medicine. =/ i think there is someone out there who needs me as well. right? =)accept meeee larrrr.

being real with survival techniques is the best of mine if i could be better. singing songs and writing what-evers are my communication tools. when i am dry and tired i would love to be in my friends' arms. the future will be brighter, if i could walk to a better place and have that bit of luck. i am not doing my best currently because i have nothing in my hand. step on burnt stones if you want to feel what i am feeling now. i bet you'll cry. loosers..

currently action : throwing written stones on You! see what's on it..?

"I believe I can fly."

chilled day outs.

2008-12-30T00:32:00.003+08:00

i went to several outings these days. feeling chilled and contented. these are the few days left that ends my teenage life. upgrading my understandings and ways to achievements. fearfulness and entertainments are my energy to go over challenges in the coming years. relationship circles getting larger that i couldn't notice some of the new comers. however, i will be my very best to fulfill the hopes and cherish the memories of every moments with dem. another powerful word that come into my life, "pretty". a word that stands strong for females. appreaciate that i've been healthy in person, wealthy in emotions and own passions. appreaciate the people that come into my life, talked to me, waved at me, smile to me. it sounds strange that i do not like to talk. my heart beats with feelings and emotions. tolerance sucks. =/

i want to create my own feelings and powerful words from now on. please stay away from me! ...(mysterious). did anyone said this sentence before? damn it. =p

结束了吧

2008-12-28T04:16:00.003+08:00

散场了吧，结束了吗。那样的心情的的确确活在我心中过。身边的人们确确实实被我影响过。失眠的夜被无情的压力击败，日夜颠倒的岁月有谁能了解，情绪崩溃难以支撑失控的想念。曾经有那么的想法：一个人孤独其实也不错。但是，当风吹来，有谁能了解那份无助。

青春的时光，或许就这么一去不返回。我得到最庞大的受益是，我明白了学会。
还有，请不要忘记我。

最近听了方大同的新专辑，觉得很不赖。欣赏他的杰作。特别推荐第一首：小小虫。

did anyone bully you?

2008-12-28T03:51:00.003+08:00

everything happened for a reason. one might see it one day after, or ten years ahead. probably it's the matter of grade and money. take it easy because one never realise, however, get it hard and unforgetable. the most precious thing is that they never give up hopes for further paths. =) perhaps, its just perhaps, there are more mine than yours.

love letters from me to you, for the people who cry in darkness, calling for help in loneliness, got bullied by broken hearts, falling from current grade,etc. we shall wait for the light. altogether =)

一封信

2008-12-24T22:34:00.002+08:00

有些人，不知天高地厚，不知水深火热，但是那一份纯真却深深地吸引着人；有些人，淘气调皮，爱闹却明白自己的过错，狠狠后悔的天真感动了人。那一份水晶球般真实的感觉，就像诗一样，每个读者都有自己的评价。但生活中不是每个人都有办法征服自己珍贵的东西。

我想念以前而且觉得越来越奇怪。周遭的事物变了，我也若有所悟，快乐也不见了。

我没有办法投以同情心，只想狠狠地践踏这片草原。甘露也是结合体。只有狠狠践踏再分解才能够证明它的存在。有时候我真的拿一些人没办法。但是怎么呢，我不够格啊！=/

去死吧！悲观者万岁！！别人。。。我呸！！！

圣诞节快乐。
p/s:我还是比较喜欢五月天。

she is adorable.

2008-12-24T02:19:00.003+08:00

check this out. she is so adorable. =)

i feel so refresh when she speaks.i wish she could talk more stories, or speeches. heeeheee.

sometimes, it comes to an end and it needs little angels like her to speak about one's hopes/wishes. cheers. =)

frusfration

2008-12-22T02:14:00.002+08:00

perhaps i haven't been a mature person before, yet am still struggling between childishness and real life. materials or keys to success, hard to decide. somehow i hate the other side of mine. do not turn back when you walk away, you will notice my ugly envy. the time is killing me. regrets and memories. feel sick of turning into twenty.

wah, such a wonderful world.
kanasai.

offline message to taiwan. i really love the trip. =>

2008-12-18T18:04:00.013+08:00

**

night at hotel. with beautiful floras and insects.

i am EXHAUSTED!!!!!!

**

the next morning.

handsome garden tour guide with the chicken.

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somehow i love my chubby face^_^

**
credits..

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let the memories be as wonderful as shooting star.
Good Bye Taiwan. hope to see you again..

i feel contented

2008-12-17T12:27:00.027+08:00

few days after the taiwan trip. an amazing and wonderful trip. do not spoil it please. =(

the first day when we landed in Taipei airport. can you recognize him? Xiao Jing Teng in black coat. the guy with plastic bag is Fang Ta Dong. =)

**

Shih Lin Night Market. OH WOW!!

(back of the scene)The toilet in Shih Lin. Very Clean.

**

Zi You Guang Chang, Taipei.

hello Taiwan =)

the trip.

see! got flo-wer =D HAHAHA

fortunately we saw some people wearing masks and holding some showboards to show their anger. =/ then there are cameras shooting on them. it looks more like drama than real life to me.

**

National Palace Museum

**

a beautiful restaurant which is designed by a lady. it feels like a beautiful aquarium to me. it is very "snake-like", and it is also very artistic with precious antiques. in my opinion, it is more suitable for friends when they travel. it looks complete if everyone wears different dresses and earings, acting and fooling around. =>

stairs

ceiling

toilet. sweat.. sei ngg sei ahhhh.

of all, i think the food is the best. =p

**

A place with values, related with Taiwan armies and Commemoration. (Sorry i do not know how to translate it to english. )

Armies on duty. Strong and neat.

**

sunset

are you happy with your life?

2008-12-05T23:13:00.004+08:00

after so many days staying at home, i get a refreshment afterall. feeling chilled and looking forward for christmas. i wonder how the decorations of restaurants and shopping malls will be. =)

one day, i have come to a sentence. after that i felt release. there's so many kinds of people. for real, i really cannot describe how they feel and how they live their lives. what i can relate to them is just that, the positive way doesn't lie. this is life and we need to follow the positive values. =) of course they are examples of failures. that is what i call as "pessimistic". they need our sympathies and cares. or, let the silence continue. the lesson is nowhere but get from life. =)

the lighter i held almost reach its end. i'm getting lost in my direction. i will be standing still. until i have the stepping stone for further.

the stone i'm standing still is written : 认输之后，投降之前。

taking sem break

2008-12-04T22:25:00.002+08:00

i'm having semester break currently. feeling exhausted after finishing art products and assignments. yet it was a new experience for me and i think it is very fun and interesting. i'm bored without college now, looking forward for the third semester next year.

there is plenty of time for me to think of what to do during holidays. i suddenly have the urge to check the facebook everyday and i'm so into what the people i know doing out there. no suprise that they meet dissapointments in life. some of them are the people i've known since primary. no better words can be used than apologize. i feel sorry about my immature and bad innovation that might or already affected some of them. probably it would be brighter if we could sit down and talk wisely. or in other ways. no matter what they are doing now, i hope they can decide which says are best for them. =) i still care because i have emotions as well.

the best i can do now is to hold on the very tiny strength that i have in my heart to tighten other values that are incomplete. other than that, i will leave it for fate. wishes and hopes, in the air. pick yours. =)

and thus..

2008-10-01T22:41:00.003+08:00

just for you, PY:

my final product of first project in sem 2.
its speciality is on his head. other than that, all crap. hahaha.

=============

and this is the shocking picture of huipeng i wana show to everyone. wahaha!

its grabbed from Sze Yue's facebook. haha.
to HP: you really look like a penguin there =) singing penguin! hehe =D

alright. ciaoz =)

whats so important

2008-09-19T15:41:00.001+08:00

today is friday, WITHOUT CRITICAL STUDIES II. the best part fall in second phrase. sometimes i dont even know what's so important to study that subject. but its compulsory. what to do. study and.. we'll see next. if i study hard and score well in exam and i find it useful in the further studies, then ok; if i study hard and score badly in exam and i find it damn extremely useful in the further studies.... i surrender.. work harder now lar. =(

there's so many things i wish i could realize. so many things come at one time.

why so serious.
but.. there's something there.
are u sure.
i'm not sure.
then go and make sure.
but there's more important things here.
whats that.
i... dont know?
then why important.
because... (someone)says (something), and (something) happened, so I think...
(then it goes back again and again)

whats that ah. some words spoken inside my mind for some time. ok.. will wait and see.

today...

2008-09-13T01:05:00.004+08:00

boring.

think back what the lecturer said to me about the essay outline this afternoon. funny how i replied her answers. "errr... so... *think hard*.... (finally)... like that ah?" and she was 0.0.. after listening and thinking bout what to say next and what i said is just like that ah. i suck at talking. =(

gonna catch up the photography session tmr. working on 'character design' at the moment. busy siao. character design -> making patung. art students are real busy. even busier than science students last time. =p the best thing is there's less presentations. =D

there is a nice girl in my class. she is kind of friendly and responsible. got boyish short hair. makes me wonder of chooiyen. =) suddenly feel like cutting my hair. change style huh. no way.

wana have a good rest after finishing that patung. sewing and stuffs. oh gosh. kill me instead. =p

p/s: fell and learned. still having hopes in searching real friends.

me

2008-09-04T17:17:00.002+08:00

missing some old friends.

it's selfish that i feel when someone left me. and it's sweet how i can made someone stay for me. no matter how it is, i'm dying for that way and that somebody. many ppl come and go. i have to move on. and the whole thing repeat again and again. father mother i love you. no matter where you are, you can actually smell their existence everywhere. especially those moments.

feel glad that there's somebody far away still need me and appreaciate my support. feel happy that somebody smile when i greet them with i'm alright.

breathing loneliness made you blind, made you tear, made you drown. good for you and me, when we go on our ways, our future, with that way and that somebody, or that memory. it becomes real if nothing changes when me meet again.

throw everything and you left nothing. keep everything and you cant go further.

good bye 'good students'.. thats what we name for our next generation.

daily post

2008-08-25T02:56:00.003+08:00

watched the olympic closing ceromony. as amazing as the closing. however, the mood is totally different. and.. as a art student *cough cough* i feel the expressive of art and performance are different as well. it is warm and 'continue of journey'.. the hope is always there, where we put in hardwork and sweat as ingredient.

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missed the outing last saturday.

haha. hope to see you again after few years, pm. =)

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looking forward to the long break starting from November.... mwahaha

cheer up lady

2008-08-23T12:59:00.011+08:00

feel stable about my studies currently. meet challenges in the subject yet enjoy it very much. sometimes, my emotions got so disturbed till i cant focus on what i'm doing. i couldn't believe i become so hardworking now, as the rulers and mechanic pencils become my friends and toys that accompany me whenever i felt interrupted. images of nice buildings and the humours of foreign lecturers are the embellishment of the day.

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Olympic is going to end soon. Lighting speed huh. So do friendships.
i think i need to freeze my feelings towards friendship as i'll stick to the negative feelings and dead under pressure. as many of my besties went overseas, every greets from them seem so wierd.. however, glad to say that i still feel the same gesture from their sayings. same cheerful tone. all the best =)couldn't say out the word i hope you all come back and we meet up again. cause too much outside stories and experience that will make the feelings become complicated. including myself.

no more 'look up the stars and i feel the same as you. i miss you.' anymore.

to be honest, i seriously admire and envy those who can study overseas. =')
zai jie zai li. mwakz.

glad that everything is alright

2008-08-20T23:49:00.002+08:00

chatting with ean wearn right now. had some conversations with old friends for the past few weeks. keeping in touch with these people had calmed my emotions.. from the tears of leaving of meishan, ean wearn, wei han, chooi yen.. and later chee chung and puimun are leaving as well.

currently i've teared a lot. however, after all these while, i've learnt that these people are really important to me and the memories we shared had meant a lot to me. even though everyone has some bitter memories, as when they had donate their blood and heart to their admire ones, yet the bitter memories of friendship becomes so crystal clear in the present.

no matter where you are, i'll always miss you =)
XOXO
hehe. first time using this word. sweat me. =p
all the best.

currently listening to : fan wei qi - yi ge xiang xia tian yi ge xiang qiu tian

farewell of ew,wh,chooi.

2008-08-16T16:36:00.006+08:00

yesterday i went to ean wern and wei han'd farewell. everyone is there. so excited =)

there are more pics on MJ's blog =) thanks lot MJ.

there're laughters and joys. the saddest thing is i couldn't catch the laughters. something there. i felt freezy on my back.

later we went to gei dek sek. we had fun chatting & photo taking as well.

before we left, somebody told me something. suddenly i felt my heart was cut by something sharp. i was blank for one second. do not know the reason of the occur of It.

then thanks to hui peng.. she drove me to the wongkok restaurant and my Mum fetched me home.

*****

then around eleven thirty pm, i went to chooi's house. li-ann, zihui, engfui, yunlu, shiyunn were there. i felt happy to see them as usual, yet there were something more occured. wierd. felt like bursting.

after shiyunn left, everyone gathered at the dinner table and chat. suddenly i just burst out crying. tears coming down. could't stand anymore.

*
*
*
*
*

we share out our deepest thoughts on the table. its not much laughter but deep and emotive environment can be smelled.

we went to bed at 4am. i couldn't fall asleep. the sadness turn to horror when i hear engfui snored. so loud. sounds like she had something to roar out. haha.

couldn't fall asleep. i was disturb by something on my mind, something telling my work wasn't done yet.

finally i fall asleep when the sky became brighter.

good bye chooi yen, ean wern, wei han. miss all of you lots.

.
.
.

i'm trying to handle my feelings but i get more wierd feelings in return.
the question is why am i holding it. is there something else behind It?
when can i make It Done?

sentimental moments

2008-07-27T15:16:00.000+08:00

question mark

2008-07-25T13:54:00.001+08:00

how come? i find it damn difficult to understand chooi's blog.

artworks

2008-07-22T00:07:00.007+08:00

these are some of my favourite masterpieces =]

(edited version of confused hearts)

abstract art : combination of past, present & future (version 1)

(version 2)

(version 3)

(better version of secondary school's batik)

figure drawing

car drawing

feel free to leave me comments bout the artworks =D
critics are allowed, but not too much. cause these are my favs =p

******

suddenly have this kind of feeling. it's hard to over because it's hard to explain and i don't find any signs of the question or answer. feels like a bird searching for something, its home perhaps. it doesnt know which home it is going to looking for, and which way of the flying gesture will make it feel proud to face its loved ones when it got home. anyway its just a immature thought. heeeeee =]

finish sem 1

2008-07-21T22:46:00.017+08:00

so.... it has been a long while i didnt blog. thanks, meishan, for reminding me about my blog. it is my pleasure that someone does notice bout this tiny spiritual space.

i enjoyed lots while doing semester 1 in foundation in arts. many friends asked me for the reasons of changing course. actually i felt damn regret bout it. haha. it's just.. childish nonsense immature feelings. =P anyway, everyone need to go on with his/her path no matter what, once they feel more burdens on their shoulders. i regreted yet i felt grateful of what i've seen and felt there. i see more clearly bout my standpoint in life status, in family, in myself.

at the starting of the semester, i caused lots of troubles. mostly on peers and the horror inside me. the distorted soul has been constrained for quite some time. its not about whose fault. sometimes, it just happened and leave a stain there. only those who felt the same or opposite can notice it.

alright skip those bullshits because i really felt embarrased bout things that i'd misunderstood. lol. emo gone. right, then i wana share things that i've gained during semester one. i found out that peers are all the same. no matter how strong the relationship used to be, one would stay or leave according to fate. everyone will gain their lessons and create their own weapons.

like magnet, well or spoiled, it would attract different kind of metals or same magnets, or it would be alone cause its spoiled, and wait for somebody else to repair it, or throw it, let the spoiled magnet befriend with other rubbish.
sometimes, we need enemies more than close ones.

haha. show some faces of the new enemies i'v met. jk, new 'friends'. aiyer dono them. always like to act yeng. =P

got something to tell ya=D
my group got number one in the competition of making flowers =D=D heeeeee =]

these are the ppl that i appreaciate & felt glad to be groupmates =D

show you some of our laborious outcomes.

p/s: really love the effect under professional tools. (lighting & stuffs)

really happy bout what i got. i felt sympathy on those who lost in the competition. its not that they're not putting enought effort. ....too bad for them. hah

will put up somemore artworks later =]

heeee

2008-05-18T16:13:00.001+08:00

feel so great after reading Chooi Yen's blog. go take a look for the latest 2 entries.
happiness can be found so easily. so simple yet powerful.
heeeee =D

=)

2008-05-18T15:02:00.000+08:00

only u will know whether ur truly happy right, so if the change is for the better, so be it!
-meishan

hello happiness

2008-05-18T14:50:00.003+08:00

to the lost souls including myself

take time to realize. yet time is not the only thing that make things clear.
smile. take effort to find happiness even its tough and you dont feel like moving your butt. remember there's always different choices in life, and different consequenecs of life. life is like a mountain. either you crawl up, or you roll down, screw up everything include the future.

ps. dont forget to take a rest while walking on the road of life. there's plenty of nice flowers around you. say hi to them =]

targets that are hard to achieve, leave them there, dont forget them. cause you never know one day after restoring the power you need, you might meet the chance again. dare to dream. take it slow to achieve.

prisoner of love

2008-05-18T11:23:00.006+08:00

the prisoner of love:

love
contradiction
agony
liberation
solitude

[took it from 'last friend' and rearrange it]

art

2008-04-15T22:02:00.006+08:00

My first piece of art in college.
Title : Confused Hearts.

Onions.
They have meanings.

Happy Birthday PuiYan <3
Friends Forever

quote2

2008-04-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

"every achievement pays a price"

her words always make me think

part 2

2008-04-10T00:01:00.001+08:00

yet i will not forget you all.. never =')

hi

2008-04-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

brand new start tomorrow

helo

2008-04-07T17:09:00.008+08:00

feel so embarrassed about my pessimist thoughts for the previous months.
received so many rumours and bad stares that seriously make me feel depress and fearful. i just dont get it. why people kept on telling i'm pretending when i'm really being myself. i'm just SHYYYYYYYY. and everyone told me to be open, dont think too much, but i just cant come out from it because i seriously dont understand. i just feel i dont deserve it.

after many hurtful critics and sleepless nights to analyze why people gave comments like that. i just went burst. somebody told me to look for my own passion and let me know the truth that i feel inferior towards girls. *shy*

no doubt. this is me. (red shirt girl with specs)

and this is the most current pic of me. yea i cut my long hair for some irrational reasons. damn.

i just heard God today. regrets.
thank you.
i know its too late to apologize. yet, thanks.
i just dont know how to say it by mouth cause i feel ashame of how bad i used to treat you.

ciao. study.
tomorrow is the last day of final! wheeeeeeeeee =D

song for the day : Someday We'll Know.

emoooee

2008-03-30T17:07:00.001+08:00

<3 song : Lee Hom - Can You Feel My World

powerful quote

2008-03-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. ~Wendy Wasserstein

a friend of mine told me

2008-03-02T22:56:00.001+08:00

"Don't keep your feelings to your own, then you don't give a chance for the people who love you to love you more."

i feel you today, God. =]

2008-03-01T17:16:00.003+08:00

*ding* sudden discovery after a very brief talk in mcd

im not afraid to reveal my feelings now....
as i know that, being your true self and got misinterpreted by others
that kind of hurt is much better than being a fake person to entertain others.
because as time goes on, people know what kind of a person you are.
and i believe that only when you act the way you are,
you'll meet people who behave alike like you are.
the ones who will have less friction with you..
im just a human. i will bleed too. i need shelter too.

He lets me to meet with so many different people and thoughts is to let me know something.
there must be some lessons He wants me to learn everytime i have problems.
Ba : " Got problem, solve it." dont wana escape anymore.
learn. dont be shy. dont be coward. dont be perasan. dont over react.

Never afraid again.
I know i never do things that betray Him.

im just fearful.

2008-02-24T23:05:00.005+08:00

i am one of those who likes to keep things on my own.. cause i'm an extremely coward person. and when things get too much inside my mind, i will just collapse and act without proper thinking and follow the flow of feelings. therefore you will see me as an extreme wierd person if you dont understand my feelings. but its okay you can just ignore it. because i really dont want to say it out when i'm extremely hurt and weak unless i feel your concern. naturally im a very passive person. it takes my efford to think the world is beautiful. when ppl react to my actions during my so-extreme-weak period, i will feel like they are trying to bully me and make fun of me. every words that went through my ears will be interpreted as insult. i will fight back. and last time i didnt realise it hurts ppl who are feeling the same as me. therefore now im just so fearful to open my mouth again.. please.. just leave me alone for a while. my whole spirit is full of fear and guilt. you're tired to understand, and i'm tired to explain. just do what you think is natural. for those who are concerning bout me, i feel it and i really appreaciate it. you light up my life a bit. =]

im ok

2008-02-22T23:02:00.002+08:00

im ok.
i just dont like ppl to see me when im weak.
it has been mountains and mountains of emoness that i couldnt solve.
will be fine soon.
i afraid i will hurt ppl again.
just give me some space.

to be a better person =]

2008-02-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

What Wong Chuan Ling means??

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

==========

those i put the words in italic are what i feel SO DAMN FREAKING TRUE about myself. they brought benefits and also made me felt guilty sometimes.. and i think they will affect my future as well. and yeah i broke many hearts.. but not with charming obviously. its my mean and rude attitudes towards the people around me.

sometimes i just wish to let others know that im not angry or feeling ashamed of being so dumb at communicating. im in the process of learning. im trying to improve. im tired of being such a lan si person who has no friends at all. even though im really a lan si person. heh.

my dad used to said to me when i was presenting CTS song analysing presentation (100 years).. It's okay to fail now. i still have time, fail now is much better than fail later, when we have responsibilities and stuffs that are so serious we cannot make mistakes. some are just.... forever regrets. no way back. just like my cousins, who died during first semester. one got murdered and another one got killed in an accidents. sorry for being rude but i dont feel anything about the one who got murdered. i felt im such a cold blood, feelingless and sympathic-less person. like no heart at all. but i seriously dont respect him with what happened on him. he got murdered by dai-yi-long, because he gambled a lot and those 'enemies' found him and pek him. at first i felt so guilty of thinking so and i didnt know what to do. then i started feeling frusfrated bout myself and start hating myself of feeling so. it got worse when i knew my dad have heart problems and my family has serious financial crisis. i feel so emo about life and i start thinking about my purpose of life. fortunately i call out one of my friend that night, engfui, thank you. i tried to pray to come out from the overwhelming guilt on me.. and after studying psychology and my roler-coaster-like emotions calm down, i think that.. everyone has the responsibility to be a good person, the reason is for the ppl around you, family and friends, and also for yourself. being a person who live with other persons on earth, we shouldnt do things that will harm others or things that will lead us to negative paths.

anyway i still dont feel pity about the cousin. cause he never did what he should do as a human. got free books at library also never go and study. go gamble. i only feel a bit sad bout his life, cause he never realise how many good things he still can do besides gambling.

weeeeeeeeeee! feel so good to let everything out tonight.

communicating is a very useful and important knowledge in our lives. so dont think that expressing your true self is something disgusting, wierd or embarassing. some will be very happy if you open your true spirit to them. i am one of them.. i feel so excited when one is telling me his or her real feelings. so, to all of my friends.. come and talk to me! heh =p

to know what your name means
go and get yours at here =]
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

brain dead. tired heart.

2008-01-27T13:11:00.000+08:00

arrrggggghhhh
STOP!
stop analyzing. stop looking around. stop being so busy body.
switch off the brain. switch off the sensivity.
blah

think before u act, cL!

hey Lord.. i miss you

2008-01-17T23:20:00.000+08:00

havent been to church for two weeks, feel so sad and guilty about it. i miss the environment i miss the pastors i miss the light. i miss everything that i see i sing i feel in church.

today i just went through the book "Purpose of Driven Life" chapter 18. atcually i should have finished it earlier because it is adviced to be finished in 40 days. one lesson one day. anyway, i saw this line. something like that.

we only grow when taking risks. and the highest risk is to be honest to ourselves and others.

its just so difficult to let out oneself completly or having total self control at the right time right place. things that happened. they are just happened. make some small changes and move on. be more focus now. have to know that not everyone see everything and not every explaination they believe.

God bless. Good night.

reborn with love

2007-12-01T21:22:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just cant believe
sometimes i just think that

i do not deserve it

i cant receive it
cause im not sincere

sometimes im like this,
but everyone told me im like that
and i should be like that
also, i believe if i act like that i will be rewarded
so fearful to be lonely

that's the begginning of all the mistakes
i've been hiding the truth for years
i've been living in such ways: i use jealousy to motivate myself to study, i use envious to change my look, i use hatred towards others to keep courage for myself to continue living.
because i believe in the beauty of pride and belongings. i believe in miracles. i believe in fairy tales. i believe in things i dont get. thus, i ask for more and more. and i fail and fail. and i hate and hate. myself and ppl around me.

finally, He comes to rescue.
finally, from upside, He coudn't stand looking His creation suffers.

just like the analysis of EVE. before meeting V and after V;
these are my perceptions of live after meeting Him. (of course i didnt meet Him by person, but.. hard to explain. you have to experience it by yourself. =])

sometimes, things we do not deserve, we cannot force others to give.
sometimes, surrender is not a bad thing. give yourself some space to breath.
sometimes, being lonely is just what oneself thinks. there's always someone up there watching over us. He is willing to give His love if we ask.
sometimes, impossible means impossible. simplicity is gold.
sometimes, even u screw up something, remember there's always a chance to get back. maybe one year later. maybe hundred years. maybe the life after you.
sometimes, if it is not according to His plan. u meant to fail means u will surely fail. no matter how hard u try.
sometimes, share your love. ppl might need it, just like how much you need it.

those are the theories i apply in my life. maybe you disagree now, but one day u'll know.

no matter who you are, i hope you love yourself. because if you hurt yourself, you are hurting Him as well. i dont wish u to hurt Him, as He is the one who saves my life, again and again.

may Him blesses all the lost soul at every corner in the universe.

thanks for the people for giving me something when i seriously need it. sincerely, thank you =]

forward mail =]

2007-11-30T20:34:00.000+08:00

a forward message from alden

Here goes:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually
to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide
you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may
seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our
need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because
your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Be lieve it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME
relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have
learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank
you for being a part of my life, whether you
were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

=======

a message that will make u think, right?
=]

scare leh?

2007-10-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

I’ve been in deep thoughts for months. It has been bothering me all the time. It’s like a chain, it relates to my life, my study and also my personal mood. I become down and depressed because of this shit. However, this shit is not a normal shit, it has been built up uneasily since many years ago, since we were all innocent and don’t have much problems. I wonder how this shit survives that long. Perhaps the government never pays for the cleaning.

And so, I read something, and I felt something, which now I think it’s a release to all this while, to both of us. (I hope you feel release too.) Maybe because of I care A LOT of that shit, my feeling swings with the expression and emotion that shown on your face. Just like shit, it’s dark and smelly when I got things wrong. Everyone can zat me but not you. I need your support. But now I change my mind. WOI! Come and zat me la, so that I can shoot you back. Mwahah.

Anyway I think everyone just needs a breath and their own space. Slightly friction and sarcastic will be okay, but if there’s too much, low self esteem people like me will begin to hide inside the crab shell and use my powerful hands to attack the “enemy”. I’m a typical Cancerian.

Last but not least, I would like to say that, deep inside, I’m still the same CL you used to know, childish and irrational. Sorry but I just don’t know why this I can’t change. I’m in the process of improving. I can never hate you even though i feel like. Because you are always the bitchy friend I respect. Forever will be. Unless you steal my Ashin.

Sorry and thank you and f*** you, si so *duuuut* =]

new start 02

2007-09-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

That's the worst days. That's the end. I am now on the lowest floor and what i need to do is just climb up.

The darkness of the night will be gone. Every morning is a new start of each day.

After Happiness

2007-09-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

Everything has its time limit. No matter how sweet it used to be, or how painful it is now.

It just likes a falling star. Beautiful, attractive, sparkling, bringing hopes. But after 0.1 second, or even 0.0001 second, it lands on the earth and that's the end. Gone.

I dont like memory.
It will just remind me of how much i lost.

:)
this is a fake smile. do you know.

i thought i have immuned to it...

<3

2007-09-20T14:50:00.000+08:00

i love wy lyn. :)

vocab for the day

2007-08-29T00:05:00.001+08:00

departures
circumstances
sanity
horn

group a... to be continue in next sem, and next and next and....

2007-08-25T00:35:00.000+08:00

i am still learning the way to express my thoughts and feelings. it's not as easy as i used to express when i was in primary school, or even younger than that. i don't know why, but i think my mental power has been descreasing, since form4 and5. i know what should i do and think in order to be a complete adult.

but i just can't.

i tried. i cried. it's not me. CL will never remember the way to CHS. CL will never know the directions. CL will never ever get a round face. CL is not CL withouht being blur. i know i get many ppl into trouble by being so careless. but i dont understand why i will never do it right. sometimes i think im quite useless in this.

and yeah.. i think i'm doing quite well with some of the colleagues. they are very friendly to me. sometimes they will bully me also. stephie la. just now talk rubbish with me using msn. hehe. i'm so glad that we are so "bersatu". hope this will remain for a very very long period.

long time adee this post.. now only im free to post haha

2007-07-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

Life is getting tougher as you can see many people shout in their display nickname. "ARGH! EXAM SUX!","Study again..Why!WHY!WHY!!!!!" <--wenxin's cries. Now it's just similar to the days i faught with SPM. Stress. Study. Suffers. Shits. What else.. Superman? (lol)

By the way, there's also a lot of "suprises" happened. Just now my car was broken down. Nothing was spoilt, is just i forgot to close the light and the batteries finished already. Then i called my baba for help. Not long after that, we saw Tony and friends. He thought we didn't drive to college and after answering him, he said that he knew how to settle our problem. I atcually.... don't trust him, and don't want him to touch my car. I just don't believe a 18 years old kid can operate the car inner system. However he didn't do anything to make us believe him, he just went to the car park and said, "very easy de.. where's your car? i know how to do" and kept on walking towards the car park.

It was a sunny day. Tony finished fixing the battery thingy and the engine really can be started. Alden was there also. Atcually I don't know why he came, he stood there chatting with us only. Hehe. But this showed he is a caring person la. Anyway i did send mk back and arrive home. without any problem.

On the way home, as i was passing by the tennis court, lik siang was standing outside his house waiting the maid open the gate for him. I smiled at him as to greet him, but he was still blur and wondering who is this. When i show my sour face then only he pointed at me with the second finger and got a ('0')on his face.

Long time didn't meet any kem bakau kaki already. Suddenly open the memory bag again.

Just last saturday, after celebrating my belated birthday with py mk ck, i went to see break dance competition at new wing ground floor. A lot of cute guys wei. Hehe. Soon Yong took part in it and i went there to support him. Damn unfortunate, i'm not sure whether it's the DJ's problem or the CD's problem, the music suddenly stop while soon yong's group still dancing. Then the MC asked whether they want to perform once again from the beginning. They didn't cause already exhausted. In the end they didn't get any prize.

unkillable

2007-06-14T18:35:00.000+08:00

lol.. i really laughed my head off when i watched this!
take a look at it

killing is suffering.. thus, we better dont kill people

p/s: i really pity the killer man.. XD

and also a very unique love song..

heart u heart u

the beginning, the ending

2007-06-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

i am always repeating the same mistake. over and over again.
but i cant control my actions, when i can feel my heart so clearly, and i just fallen into it.
at least i did something following the heart, which i didnt do for years.
it's something should be proud of.

to the dear readers.. cherish what you have, dun let it fly away..

im back

2007-05-28T18:46:00.000+08:00

And so, I am back to improve my English, again. It’s so touched that I see you leave message although I had thought of giving up here. It’s just so… empty! Therefore, I have to fill in the blank parts with the mysterious life I had, that I was so enjoy until I don’t even have the time to blog.

The life in national service was not as good as now here. I couldn’t say it’s really fun, really touching, really challenging, but it is definitely a really memorable one. For the first week I went home, my body still cannot come back to the normal way of living I used to have here. I was still thinking to be waken up at 5 early in the morning, by the noise of opening and closing lockers, where the muslims need to prepare and go for sembahyang. After that, I would always fall asleep while standing in the ground, and do the “baris sedia!...senang diri!..” thingy. Then, I would laugh with TS and the malays, seeing those late comers do the embarrassing jumping jack. (I did that before, it’s was so fish!) I just miss those days! For the first time, I began to miss the kering kontang fried fish the canteen had. I looked at the photos I took, I laughed my head off when I see the picture Mapiao took with Heng in the playground, playing see saw; and I almost tears when I clicked the picture, where all the Chinese gathered together at the ground, on the day before going back. No matter what feeling I have through the people in those pictures, they all now become memories.

Till now, I can still received missed calls from the people who had been in the same camp with me. My mom told me to forget all about it, for it’s just a small piece of my life. Sounds so not important. I won’t do so, and I don’t think I will ever thought of doing so. For the reason it is something precious, that I've learned about ‘Life’.

What can I say more about it? Hmmm, pictures tell everything. So, take a look of it. (It’s the same as the one in my friendster, I’m lazy to make a new one :p)

p/s: to that person.. no matter you see this or not... oi faster come and find me la, i damn miss you XD that day i also dono why i so shy de.. soli lo.

eternal summer

2006-12-26T14:18:00.000+08:00

我很想很想看的一部片子。

[我知道一個星球，在這個行星上，沒有人能活超過二十?。] by 阿信

真的。我之前有跟朋友聊天，我還說可能四十?的時候我就會去死掉吧。
因?那時候的我能夠做的，也只是跟著一群沒有靈魂的人面機械，穿著大衣，等待死亡。

老師跟媽媽說我不要虛度光陰，於是我努力念書。
過後才發現，是念書讓我失去了許多寶貴的時間。

從小我不喜歡規則，我想破壞它。於是我經常挨?。

長大后什?都變了。
外形變了，我也變了。
我抓到訣竅如何不挨?了。
那就是，所謂的乖學生做什?我就做什?。
成績冊交到他們手中，他們不但沒有罵我了，還開始稱讚我。

但我心?明白他們稱讚的那個人
我根本不認識

*****

[沒有人一生下來就孤單]

我看了這段話更加惆悵。
為了不孤單，我選擇了更孤單。

*movie preview*

*music video*

*website*

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/summermovie
http://www.imayday.com/summer/index.htm

pangkor trip

2006-12-26T10:42:00.000+08:00

just came back from pangkor class trip.
its wonderful. dirty beach, salty water, merky pool, smelly room and everyday-the-same food.. yet all nice people
everyone got the same feeling after going their class trip, like chooi said she really miss them.. me too.

banana boat is nice lar, meishan said okok only. its because they fall once only. walao now they do business very straight forward. u pay them RM12 then they ask " berapa kali mau jatuh?" fuiyoh.. only my group jatuh twice, others only once. once not so nice, cause sit on the banana until sien liao then only the guy let you jatuh.

besides we also went snorkling(is my spelling correct?)whoa the sea water is sooooo salty + SMELLY. it made me remember pangkor forever - the always smelly sea
ohyea! and the kayak.. LOL i kayak with zhi yee. at first we cannot control the kayak and the wave kept pulling us to the deeper sea, wah i scare until wana pull down panty and write sos adee.. then later we get used to it and we kayak here kayak there. hah! we did terlanggar rocks for many times and we go langgar people as well

after dinner we did some shopping, walao min yunn ahh.. this girl damn geng, everytime go in must have something in her hand when she came out. shi yunn bought a .... sarong like that, but its beautiful type of sarong. she looked soooo pretty wearing that!

the best of best part which i think the trip is memorable is when room 212 people all gather on one bed and share their inner thoughts. - v -

shit la, miss them already.

yesterday mengjin called for gathering. whoa so fast ah, i wana miss longer a bit first. so fast can see then i dont miss adee XD

p/s * no pictures displayed because my camera no battery .i just brought it there for fun.

exam week . blek

2006-09-17T11:40:00.000+08:00

blek
life is just exam study pimples recently

people i miss u
when are we going to hang out again

and mayday complete it

2006-08-13T00:06:00.000+08:00

I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!!! I WANT ALSO !!
yerr i wanted mayday shirts so badly la, since the time i know bout gogorock shopping
but what can i do, i dont have any credit card that can let me pay online..

these shirts are belongs to my friend, xiao jie(haha sounded like miss)
i know her through PTT, a taiwan website where mayday always hang around. and she added me in msn because she saw my date or birth, which is the same as her.
not long after that there was 114 mayday final home concert in malaysia. and i met her and talked with her face to face. sometimes i think our thoughts are similar. since then we called each other twin sister. bwahaha

*this is the first pic i take with my long lost twin sister
a bit paiseh that time.
and the only thing she is not cute is when she come near my sister and, "hey, chuanling?" :/

whateva.i damn excited that time. can hear mayday rehearsal WHOHAHAHA!! MAYDAY!!MAYDAY!! ^^

=====

besides knowing my twin sister i also get to know jorain and shihua during that time mayday came for the antidrug campaign. lol. i still can remember how jorain save my life. that time was such a HUGE CROWD,i cant find the way out. is she who leads me to the bright road and escape.

then after few days puiyan (so called emily..crazy buddy) said she saw someone's post the pictures on cari web. and i wonder whether that's jorain. we kept discussing bout mayday and then this machididi@victor came. since then there appear a new space for the mayday malaysian fans. and machididi become the ketua of the forum.

then later i get to know anfernee, the great designer.. lol. he helped to designed the forum shirt. eh i got included also,i drew the stupid cat. XD
then later natsuko..(fuiyoh this girl ahh i wana mention a bit. she helped me a lot! she is so willing to help the mayday fans. she helped me to buy ashin's book and bring back the final home dvd all the way from taipei. shit she is so bleedy kind!)her sis,cold snowy..furby..jeremy..mingfei.. and others!!

this is a gathering where malaysian mayday fans get together and hang out in sg wang

standing left to right: mayday, eugene, jeremy, mingfei
sitting left to right: jorain, shihua, coldsnowy, greenlove,natsuko, furby

hehe

=====

i realise that, mayday has become one part of my life. the songs, every single song has its meaning to me. last year birthday i present myself the song "juejiang". when i watched too many political incidents and i feel sick of the world i listen to "crazy world". when i feel alone i listen to "hug". when i was greatful for having my zimuiz i listen to "sun wu kong".... so on and so on..

besides the song, i see that, dream is not only a dream. if u work hard, u will probably get something in return. maybe ur dream wont be fulfilled, but u will find hopes, u will find happiness(maybe get upset sometimes but there's still something can make u smile right), u will find friendship,u will find the way u wish to continue ur life.

ok im making this post boring, so erm, i go to sleep buhbye. reader u also dun stay in front of the computer too long. dunno computer will have reputan radioactive or not.

crying out love, in the centre of the world

2006-08-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

i was attracted by this movie's cover two years ago.
the background colour is the green that i trully love. atcually i dont know what the difference when i see other green, like apple green, mint green/green mint or whatsoever. but that particular green gives me some kind of feeling that.. there's something, far far away, maybe i couldnt touch it but i can see it, i can feel it. and it has direction. just that u have to find it yourself. the dream. the love.

the story begins with a conversation between a couple. at first i thought of, eh how sweet, outside is raining but they still plan to go out, to date perhaps? in the end of the show, when i already understand the whole story.. damn i hate that part. they are discussing bout hopes yet what they need to face is the opposite.

"28th of october
i couldnt fall sleep
the fear that tomorrow is coming keep me awake
i know
that im going to die"

its just an ordinary love story. a young girl and guy, how they know each other, how they fall in love, then the girl get sick then the guy blablabla.. but there's still something special bout it deep inside.

watch it
even though the title is.. err.. will make me vormit

onion film

2006-07-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

this movie is called as an onion film
i think can use this film and join the what what canon competition already
i was touched by the background music.. and i wonder how it was done with the music connected so sharp with the feeling..
err, how to explain?
is like, behind there got one part one of the friends fell and another scratched his head, remember? and the background music went "!!!" <-- (fuiyor, onion.)

one of the best part where i really laughed my lungs out is the one cent part.
damn funny ahh XD

and this..

the guy with specs looks like doesnt not willing to share his icecream la XD

tomorrow lkt will be having a farewell party. i saw the form fours started preparing and discussing few weeks ago and they paid so much attention until didnt realise i was at the back curi dengar. haha. but i hear nothing. because they speaked too fast and they speak in english. aiyor my english ahh.. why ah? :<
now im trying to speak more english with jasmine. she helped me a lot.not only english but also other subjects. i will get the oohmm to study whenever i see her. sitting with a top ten student, damn zi bei one u know!
yea back to the topic. so fui, zihui, michelle and chooi decided to wear batik tomorrow. i only got sarong at home. too bad cant join them.

os: puimun u thought only your juniors treat u good mehh :/
show off a bit first

i like the bag :D

there are these puimun and li-ann's blogs has changed the skin which look damn nice now. go and have a look.
chooi say i should go visit yee ler's blog and i went. the only comment i can give is BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!He damn cute la wei!XD

i cant stand the tiredness anymore.. today play badminton during pjk with jas, we played until shanti's period after recess. oh man, jasmine is so geng! next time dare not to mencabarkan her liao.

so long.

p/s: happy birthday michelle!! :D